汕头一模英语写作评分标准及高分建议（2023）

高考中英语写作得分简单，但是想要得高分比较难，下面小编就为大家带来了高考评卷组长以汕头2023年英语一模作文为例，讨论关于写作评分标准及高分建议，希望对大家有帮助。

图片由网友“醉枫染墨°”提供

第四部分 写作（共两节, 满分40分）

第一节（满分15分）

为培养学生的独立生活能力, 你校英语俱乐部举办“我是生活小能手”征文活动, 请你写

一篇文章, 介绍你拿手的生活技能, 内容包括：

1. 具体的一项生活技能；

2. 你在生活中获得的体验。

注意：

1. 写作词数应为80左右；

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

I am competent in

第二节（满分25分）

阅读下面材料, 根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段, 使之构成一篇完整的短文。

Tim had high respect for his father, Mike, who was also his teacher. With a burning sense of responsibility, Mike loved his job so much that he always went the extra mile.

In the very early morning, Tim could always see Mike busy with breakfast for him. Later on, they went to school together to accompany the students to greet a new day of learning. At table, Mike exchanged what he knew in school with Tim. Typically, Mike would always wear a shiny smile for the funny moments; frown for his students' problems or challenges. At that moment, Tim did feel his father's passion for the class.

Having finished the housework and said goodnight to Tim, Mike, eventually, sat at his desk peacefully and buried himself in what he enjoyed. In the delicate light of a lamp, he made preparations for the next day, trying to make what students found boring in the textbook come to life.

Sometimes, Mike worried Tim might be envious of the attention he gave to other children. However, Tim didn't complain about it. Instead, he admired his dedication and love. It was one of the qualities that made Mike such a fantastic father.

Tim liked making videos of activities in daily life, and kept his camera handy in case there was any opportunity to capture footage （捕捉片段）. Also, he captured some of Mike＇s.

One weekend, Tim approached Mike's room, hoping to get advice on making videos for the next class meeting themed Love, only to find Mike staring at the photos of his students on the wall, a little upset.

“What happened?” Tim asked as he stepped into Mike's room.

“You know, some of your classmates recently have been rebellious （叛逆的）. Despite discipline and heartfelt communications, they're still breaking rules, skipping classes and complaining about my strictness. Though I could be demanding sometimes, I'm concerned about them. ” Mike sighed.

Thinking of his upsetting classmates who couldn't sense Mike's efforts, Tim decided to try to do his part in helping Mike out in secret. With an idea flashing into his mind, he knew what the video was about.

注意：

1. 续写词数应为150左右；

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Tim started working on the project.

The students, along with Mike got surprised when the video came to an end.

第一节(满分15分)

范文1

I am competent in cooking.

In our daily life, cooking by oneself is an essential life skill. What I’m extremely good at is cooking all kinds of delicious food.

In my life, whenever my parents drag themselves tired from work, I will prepare a sumptuous dinner for them and welcome them back. At the same time, in the process of cooking, not only can I hone the quality of independence, but also exercise my practical ability. More importantly, it can make me clearly understand and experience the toughness of others.

There is no doubt that the ability to cook is extremely important.

范文2

I am competent in cooking

As a food lover, I like to taste different cuisines from around the world and I am keen on making them by myself. Whenever I have time, I always help prepare dinner, among which steamed fish and stir-fried beef are what I am expert at. Besides, I am also good at making cupcakes. Using different kinds of fruit and cream, I can make them with different flavors.

Cooking has become an indispensable part in my life! Through cooking, I have cultivated my independence. Better yet, every time I share what I cook with my family or friends, their contented smile also brings me a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.

范文3

I am competent in washing clothes by hand

Washing clothes by hand ranks first with fun details. Having sorted the washing items by colors and types, I soak them in water mixed with washing powder. While rubbing the clothes, I share with my roommates the day like the bubbles, colorful and delicate. Sometimes, hand-washing shows me magic, such as removing stains with lemon juice, and getting an unexpected work-out when twisting/wringing jeans to squeeze the water out.

Though most washing machines offer much convenience, hand-washing remains significant to my life, physically and mentally, inspiring me to create a fruitful life with my own hands and hopeful heart, and treasure everything in my life.

应用文评分原则

（采取双评，差距3分产生三评）

1. 本题总分为 15 分，按五个档次进行评分；基本要求是切题、完整、准确、连贯。

2. 评分时，应主要从内容要点、词汇语法和篇章结构三个方面考虑，具体为：

(1) 对内容要点的覆盖情况以及表述的清晰程度和合理性;

(2) 使用词汇和语法结构的准确性、得体性以及多样性;

(3) 上下文的衔接和全文的连贯性。

3. 评分时，先根据作答的整体情况初步确定其所属档次, 然后以该档次的要求来综合衡量，确定或调整档次，最后给分。

4. 评分时还应注意:

（1）文体错误扣2分，如乱套用书信格式（1. 写了背景，如“为了培养学生的独立生活能力”“为了给征文活动投稿”等，扣1分；2. 书信格式明显，如“I’m writing to..., Looking forward to...Yours, Li Hua”，扣2分）等，该文是一篇介绍类说明文，不是书信，所以不能以书信格式写作。

（2）注意审题，合理分配各段内容要点，鼓励适度拓展，如掌握该项技能的动机或原因等。合理分段，如段落过多且篇章结构零散，酌情扣分；

（3）注意时态，本文宜使用一般现在时为主，时态使用错误酌情扣分。

（4）字数过多或过少酌情扣1-2分（如词数少于 70 或多于 120）；

（5）单词拼写和标点符号是写作规范的重要方面，评分时应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑；英、美拼写及词汇用法均可接受；书写较差以致影响交际的，将分数降低一个档次。

（6）尽量不因书写而影响评分公正性。

内容要点

1.【语篇解读】本文属于介绍类说明文，要求学生结合“我是生活小能手”征文活动主题，介绍自己拿手的一项生活技能，如做饭，烘焙，收纳整理，园艺，工具维修等，同时要求学生分享该项生活技能所带来的生活体验，如培养独立的生活能力，得到他人的肯定与赞赏，感悟生活的乐趣，收获劳动的意义等。

2.【写作结构】两段、三段都合理。只有一段或者超过3段的，酌情扣分。

3.【内容要点】

不管两段或者三段，都需要有总起句（总起句使段落结构完整，也是段落意识的体现。总起句可以写“我擅长的技能是...；我在...有天赋；我对...有兴趣。”等）。

版本一：

第一段：总起句 + 具体描述自己拿手的一项生活技能，即什么（什么样的生活技能？）--怎么样（如何擅长这项技能？）：生活技能可以包括如做饭，烘焙，园艺，收纳整理、工具维修（这个技能范围可以有很多）等日常生活所需技能等。需要学生对该项技能做具体的介绍，如介绍烹饪技能，可简要描述基本操作过程或拿手菜的制作要诀等。另外，学生也可简述自己掌握该技能的动机或理由，如兴趣, 他人影响等。

第二段：分享生活中获得的体验，即这项生活技能带来了什么变化，提供了什么样的收获，触发了怎样的感悟等。如培养学生的独立生活能力，得到认可和赞赏，改善或促进家庭关系，增加了生活的乐趣，感悟动手能力的重要性等。

版本二：

第一段：总起句

第二段：具体描述自己拿手的一项生活技能

第三段：分享生活中获得的体验

版本三：

第一段：总起句

第二段：具体描述自己拿手的一项生活技能 + 分享生活中获得的体验

版本四：

第一段：总起句

第二段：具体描述自己拿手的一项生活技能 + 分享生活中获得的体验

第三段：总结段

各档次的给分范围和要求

内容要点	词汇语法	篇章结构
第五档(13 - 15 分)	完全完成了试题规定的任务，覆盖所有内容要点，内容充实，紧扣主题，拓展到位。	语言得体、丰富（词汇、句式、结构、语法自然、多样化），具备较强的语言表达能力，表达基本无误或虽有少许错误，系使用较复杂结构或高级词汇所致；	全文结构明朗、紧凑，有效使用语句间、段落间的连接成分或过渡语言，行文连贯，过渡自然，思路清晰，主题突出，符合介绍文体，完全达到了预期的写作目的。
第四档	完成了试题规定的任务，覆盖所有主要内容要点，并能适当拓展，但有可能表述不够准确或没有紧扣主题。	语言（词汇、句式）相对丰富，语法结构和词汇方面应用基本准确，有些许错误，或为尝试较复杂语法或词汇所致，不影响意思的传递和理解。	全文结构合理，应用简单的语句间的连接成分，行文连贯；主题表达清楚，符合介绍文体，达到预期写作目的;
(10-12分)
第三档(7-9分)	基本完成了试题规定的任务，覆盖所有主要内容，但内容比较简单，未能描述清楚某个主要内容或缺乏必要的拓展或谈论与主题无关的其他内容等。	语言较为单调、词汇、句式有限，有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，但基本不影响理解。	全文结构基本合理，虽有应用简单的语句间连接成分，但连贯性较差，过渡不够自然合理；基本写出介绍文体，基本达到预期写作目的。
第二档	未适当完成试题规定的任务，漏掉较多主要内容，或未能描述清楚主要内容，或多数内容与试题规定任务无关。	结构简单、词汇有限，语言错误多，影响写作意思的传递和对写作内容的理解	全文结构不合理，较少使用语句间连接成分，内容间连贯性差，信息未能清楚地传达给读者。
(4-6分)
第一档	未完成试题规定的任务，明显漏掉主要内容，只写出零星要点，内容太少；或写了一些无关内容。	运用语言少，语言错误很多，或只有个别句子正确可读，影响对写作内容的理解。	全文结构不合理，内容不连贯，缺乏语句间连接成分，信息未能传达给读者。
(1-3分）
0分	空白卷；抄写与试题规定任务无关的其它内容；所写内容无法辨认。

第二节(满分25分)

范文1

Tim started working on the project. He started looking for footage for the video, capturing every piece of footage he could use. These clips record Mike’s daily tasks for the children. With them, Tim searched for the rebellious children on the photo wall and quietly filmed Mike’s dedication and care for the children. These clips contain Mike’s heart communications, hard work, and most importantly, love. When the day came for the class meeting, Tim volunteered to play a video for the class.

The students, along with Mike got surprised when the video came to an end. To Mike’s surprise, the rebellious students, those who broke school rules, often played truant and always complained about his strictness were full of tears. They stood up slowly, bowed deeply to Mike, and sincerely said “Mike, thank you for all your efforts for us.” Mike was so moved that he gave each of them a big hug. At that moment, Tim believed what had just happened was etched into each of their hearts. Because he was sure that Mike was not just a responsible teacher but a perfect father.

范文2

Tim started working on the project. He got up earlier than before to snap the figure preparing the breakfast. He stayed up late and tiptoed to capture the scene where his father was busy revising his classmates’ papers and their exercise books with comments and tips. The video completed, he felt really touched, and had a better understanding of his father, as well as the meaning of love. The next morning, he offered to be the first one to present his project at the class meeting. The moment he clicked on the video, the class fell silent, watching the video attentively.

The students, along with Mike got surprised when the video came to an end. Nearly all the students ducked their head and was lost in thought, because never before had they really put themselves in his shoes but had always taken things for granted. Then the monitor came up to Mike and gave him an embrace, expressing his heartfelt gratitude for showering the class with love and devotion. Abruptly, thunderous applause echoed in the classroom. At the sight of the scene, Mike felt really moved and cast a relieved smile on his son. (174 words)

范文3

Tim started working on the project. He could hardly wait to pick out the previous clips on Mike—shiny smiles, concerned looks, heartfelt communications and so on. When composing the clips, Tim felt a warm current welled up from his deep inside, driving him to record more. He covertly captured a close-up, when Mike was preparing the lesson late into the night. Also, he snapped the exercise books in secret, each page filled with corrections and comments. Eventually, the day came. With his video, Tim began the meeting.

The students, along with Mike got surprised when the video came to an end. The class went silent, with students lost in thought, some lowering their heads. Slowly, one of the rebellious students stood up. “I’m so sorry. I promise I won’t disappoint you again. Nothing is better than meeting a teacher like you.” said he with his eyes radiating with gratitude. Hardly had his voice faded away when thunderous applause burst out with all the students standing up. Looking around, Mike nodded with a knowing smile. Tim lifted his camera, recording the special moment of Love.   (共166字)

读后续写评分原则

（采取双评，差距5分产生三评）

1. 本题总分为 25 分，按5个档次进行评分。

2. 评分时，主要从①内容的合理性、②语言正确性丰富性、③衔接连贯性三个方面考虑，具体为：

(1) 续写内容的合理性、完整性、原文情境的融洽程度以及是否传递正能量。

(2) 所使用词汇和语法结构的准确性、丰富性和得体性。

(3) 上下文的衔接和全文的连贯性。

3. 评分时，应先根据作答的整体情况确定其所属的档次，然后以该档次的要求来综合衡量，确定或调整档次，最后给分。

4. 评分时还应注意：

(1) 词数过多或过少（少于130；多于180）均酌情扣1-2分，词数不超过所给答题框即可。

(2) 书写较差以致影响交际的，酌情扣分1-2分;不能仅凭书写打印象分。

(3) 单词拼写和标点符号是写作规范的重要方面，评分时应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英、美拼写及词汇用法均可接受。

(4) 超过2段扣2分。

（5）关于主题偏离的处理，建议最高不超过及格分往下评。

（6）如果只续写了其中一段，但该部分完成质量好、字数达到要求，建议最高不超过12分往下评。

评分细节

1. 内容要点

（1）文本大意：Tim喜欢制作视频记录生活中的点点滴滴。Tim的父亲Mike, 也是他的老师，对待工作与家人有激情、有责任心、有爱心和奉献精神，是Tim尊敬的人。但是最近Mike在教育学生的过程中，遇到了一些问题。刚好下周有一个主题为“爱”的班会，Tim想要通过他制作的视频，让他的同学们了解他父亲的努力与付出，感受爱。

（2）主题立意：主题语境为人与自我中的“做人与做事”主题群，文章主题立意明确，内容指向的是优秀品行，正确的人生态度。在优秀的“父亲与老师”的影响下，Tim用自己的方式表达爱同时也让所有人感受爱。

（3）续写方向：根据文中的“With a .. responsibility,....”、“Time did feel his father’s passion for the class.” “Instead, he admired his dedication and love.”、“Also, he captured some of Mike’s.”、“...the next class meeting themed Love, ...”、“...couldn’t sense Mike’s efforts ...”、“...helping Mike out in secret ...”和段首两句中的“...the video” 和“...got surprised when the video...”，要求学生能够把握“the video”这一重要线索，围绕video的制作、播放和影响，充分体现Mike身上作为父亲，尤其是老师的珍贵品质，从而感受到Mike的付出与爱等。

（4）续写要点：

第一段：

1. Tim如何制作视频；

2.视频的内容（可以是在制作的过程中体现；也可以是播放的过程中呈现）

3.在班会课上播放制作的视频；

第二段：

4. 学生们和Mike的反应；

5. 视频的效果-- 同学们的反思与感悟

6. 点出主题或故事的结局。

（5）续写难度:从文章难度上看，文章主题清晰，抓住主线的难度不会太大，但仍有可能出现以下几方面的问题：

①　没能很好地处理好video的内容，没有回扣上文Mike身上所体现的品质；

②　第一段的内容没有交代“the class meeting”的开始及播放制作的视频，没有与第二段的首句的内容衔接起来；

③　漏写同学们的反思与感悟，没有体现video的作用。

2. 语言表达

(1) 语言准确性：句式、时态和词汇；

(2) 语言丰富性：句式多样，恰当运用复合句、非谓语和特殊句型等；运用合适的词汇进行心理、动作、语言和环境等细节描写；不鼓励为了追求所谓的高级词汇、短语或句式，套用背诵积累的“高大上”的语言，导致语义、语境和逻辑的混乱；

(3) 语言逻辑性：段间、句间逻辑衔接自然、紧密。

四、档次赋分范围和要求

档次	描述
21--25分	1.能写到以上6个要点 创造了丰富、合理的内容，富有逻辑性，续写完整，与原文情境融洽度高；
	2.使用了多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构，表达流畅，语言错误很少，且完全不影响理解；
	3.自然有效地使用了段落间、语句间衔接手段，全文结构清晰，前后呼应，意义连贯。
16--20分	1.能写到以上5-6使用了比较多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构，表达比较流畅，有个别错误，但不影响理解；
	2.比较有效地使用了语句间衔接手段，全文结构比较清晰，意义比较连贯。
11--15分	1.能写到以上4-5个要点，有一定的逻辑性, 续写基本完整，与原文情境相关；
	2.表达方式不够多样性，表达有些许错误，但基本不影响理解；
	3.全文结构比较清晰，意义比较连贯。
6--10分	1.能写到以上3-4个要点，内容和逻辑上有一些重大问题，续写不够完整，与原文有一定程度脱节；
	2.所用的词汇有限，语法结构单调，错误较多且比较低级，影响理解；
	3.全文结构不够清晰，意义欠连贯。
1--5分	1.能写到以上1-2个要点，内容和逻辑上有较多重大问题，或有部分内容抄自原文，续写不完整，与原文情境基本脱节；（要警惕有些tricky的做法：抄两句写一句，抄一句写两句，这种就先把抄的剔除，剩下自己写的再来评分，但也归为这个档。）
	2.语法结构单调，错误极多，严重影响理解； 3.全文结构不清晰，意义不连贯
0分	1.未作答；
	2.所写内容无法看清以致无法评判；
	3.所写内容全部抄自原文或与题目要求完全不相关。

定标与评分建议

1. 评分时，建议从内容（What）和方法（How）两个维度综合衡量，为作文准确定档。

2. 内容方面，可从主题和情节两个维度考量：

（1）主题：是否与前文一致？是否符合社会主义核心价值观？

（2）情节：

— 完整性：故事各部分是否齐全？是否续写了结局？

— 合理性：是否违背常识/常理？是否违背原文的逻辑意义？

— 衔接性：续文与前文之间、段首句与段落续文之间、第一段续文结尾与第二段首句之间是否有效衔接？

— 创新性：（属较高要求）在不违背完整性、合理性和衔接性要求的前提下，是否构思巧妙，令人眼前一亮？

3. 方法方面，可从语篇和语言两个维度考量：

（1）语篇：故事语篇特征是否典型（如：故事完整；时态一致；使用描述性语言等）？

（2）语言：

— 正确性：语法正确（句型、用词、搭配、时态、一致性等）

— 丰富性：使用的语言手段是否丰富多样（灵活运用简单句、并列句、 复合句、非谓语、特殊句型、逻辑连接手段等）

— 得体性：所使用的语言手段是否符合语境需要？是否地道自然？是否与原文风格一致？

— 流畅性：内容与逻辑是否连贯、流畅？

4. 关于主题偏离的处理：出现严重的主题偏离时（如故事结局消极、负面，颂扬的主题与原文毫不相关），建议从最高不超过及格分往下评。主题有所偏离，但不太影响故事情节发展，视其程度采取扣 1-2 分的方式处理。

5. 关于合理性问题的处理：因前文没读懂而导致的情节严重偏差，建议从最高不超过及格分往下评。在续文部分情节逻辑自洽的前提下，因忽略前文重要线索而导致的个别关键情节与前文不融洽，采取降一档的方式处理；因文化背景知识不足、个别生词不理解等导致的常识性错误或细节不合理，酌情扣 1-2 分。

6. 关于完整性问题的处理：视完成部分的内容质量和字数情况综合判断。如果只续写了其中一段，但该部分完成质量好、字数达到要求，建议最高不超过12分往下评。

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